Enjoying the Week in Hilton Head, SC

For the tenth or eleventh year (I've lost count), my kids and I have joined my parents, my sister, her husband, and their four kids in Hilton Head, South Carolina for a weeklong reunion of sorts. It's a family get together that we all enjoy. For several years now, we've been staying at the same house, which, for the time being, fits our needs well. The house has a nice pool, space for horseshoes, and sleeping space for ten. This year, we've spent a lot of time at the beach (probably more than any other year I remember), riding bikes, swimming, and playing tennis.

Sarah Catherine, Matthew, and I have been riding bikes a good bit at home, and that has carried over to Hilton Head. SC especially likes to go riding bikes a couple of times a day here. Yesterday, we saw two small alligators in a pond, and a giant turtle that moved surprisingly fast.

Tonight was our 2nd annual Talent Show. The kids did dances, played music, and we all read my recently written children's book, Dinosaur Day, which I'm still working on getting published.

Two nights ago, I prepared the meal of crusted tilapia, fresh green beans, and rice. We've eaten some good meals out as well.

Saturday, we'll pack up and make the long trip back home. At least we'll gain an hour.

Sarah Catherine's Dance Recital

SC performed well Tuesday night at her dance recital at the Civic Center. Karen, her boys, Matthew, and I sat up in the balcony and watched her perform. Apparently, she's one of the best in the class, judging from the position she was in...front and center. They danced to a Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus song...which, of course, having a 9 year old daughter, I knew!

After her performance, we gathered in the lobby of the Civic Center to give gifts to Sarah (I fulfilled her request for the Bengal Tiger Webkinz) and congratulate her. I'll post a picture or two on here.

I'm proud of both my kids...they are creative, imaginitave, and, this is what thrills me...they seem happy.

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Speaking of being happy, we've had a lot of fun already this summer. The kids create interesting environments both inside and out of the house. They've made restaurants, zoos, and other interesting places come alive. We've painted a table together, befriended a neighborhood dog (who, if he keeps coming around, we'll be calling our pet pretty soon I imagine), played video games together, watched movies, and played kick ball in the back yard (although today the ball was punctured). Next week we're heading to Hilton Head for our annual family reunion. We're all looking forward to it.

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I've read some good stuff lately. Epictetus' Handbook and Marcus Aurelius' Meditations are two of the most influential works I've ever read: very practical and helpful for living. From Marcus: "Objective judgment...Unselfish action...Willing acceptance."

Now I'm reading Tom Hodgkinson's The Freedom Manifesto and Luis Navia's Diogenes the Cynic, about one of the most interesting figures in the history of mankind.

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As I live and type, I'm watching Knocked Up again, for maybe the sixth or seventh time. I love that movie. Paul Rudd is one of my favorite actors...very funny.

Cake

Riding my exercise bike today (which I've now upped to 50 minutes a day, 5 days a week---ain't I good?), and listening to my iPod (how "modern" and "cool" of me), I heard a song by Cake. The song was No Phone. A couple of years ago, Cake was mostly all I listened to. I had discovered them quite by accident, and I must credit a movie for that. Shallow Hal, starring Jack Black, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jason Alexander (yes, the same one who played my hero George Costanza on Seinfeld), is about a man who sees women only for their surface beauty, until he is hypnotized unknowingly, thanks to Tony Robbins. It's a good movie...very funny.

But at the end of the movie, as the credits rolled, I heard a song that went a little something like this:

We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors
And adding more lanes

We are building a religion
A limited edition
We are now accepting callers
For these pendant key chains

To resist it is useless
It is useless to resist it...


The song captivated me, music and lyrics...That song was Comfort Eagle. I then devoured all Cake (pun intended). At the time I didn't realise they also sang Never There (official video), Hem of Your Garment, and other good tunes. I have four or five of their lp's.

When I met Karen, we shared an affection for Cake, as well as each other. So when I heard No Phone today, I became nostalgic and remembered the "old days". My favorite Cake song? That would have to be You Turn the Screws.

The Art of Living

I have recently discovered the treasure that is Stoicism, and particularly, the first century Roman slave turned sage Epictetus. Like Socrates, Epictetus wrote nothing, but rather spoke words of wisdom and practical living to his pupils. As Plato recorded the teachings of his master Socrates, Arrian put down those of his teacher Epictetus.

Stoicism is one of the most ancient and enduring philosophies of the western world, and was highly regarded among all walks of life, including the ruling class. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman ruler, is one of the most influential Stoics, and his work, Meditations, is my next read.

When many people think of the term stoic, they think of boredom, passivity, and non-emotion. It's a caricature, that's all. Stoicism is actually a very practical way of living life, with virtue, understanding, reason, and accord with nature. It emphasizes focusing your attention on yourself, and what you can control, not on external circumstances outside of your control.

I just finished reading The Art of Living, a contemporary interpretation of Epictetus' Handbook. It's not a "book" in the typical sense; it's rather a collection of wise thoughts on how to live. It doesn't even read like philosophy...it's not technical at all...very readable and very practical. That's what I love about it. Anyone can profit from it, and unlike some philosophies or belief systems, it transcends time...it works as well in the 21st century as it did in the first.

Here are some snippets:

"Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can't control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible."

"Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours."

"It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance."

"Things and people are not what we wish them to be nor what they seem to be. They are what they are."

"We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them."

"Things simply are what they are. Other people think what they will think; it is of no concern to us. No Shame. No Blame."

"Never depend on the admiration of others. There is no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source...Grow up! Who cares what other people think about you! Create your own merit."

"Don't demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible."

(All quotes from The Art of Living, Lebell)

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These quotes are the tip of the iceberg...Get the book yourself (I got mine used on Amazon.com for $5-6)...you'll be glad you did. You can read it in a couple of hours, and then keep it with you kind of like a manual for life. Epictetus' Handbook is kind of the West's answer to the Tao Te Ching, one of my next projects.

Play Ball

I haven't been here in a while...now I'm black.

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I'm happy that baseball season has started, albeit in a manner (or more specifically, a location) that I'm not too pleased about. It's not that I'm opposed to Japan...it's a cool place I suppose, and they've given America some quality baseball talent, but baseball is our NATIONAL PASTTIME, and so Opening Day should take place here, not at 6 a.m. Eastern time on a Tuesday morning in Japan. At any rate, all is right with the world again...baseball is back. I consider Opening Day to take place Monday, when the Yankees open at home against the Blue Jays. Opening Day is one of my favorite days of the year.

In related developments, I have three fantasy baseball teams. I think I drafted well, and have a good chance at defending my championship from last season. I'll have to beat, not just my Pops, but my girlfriend as well.

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The kids are well. They're back in school this week after Spring Break. Yesterday we checked out the new Hardee's in Meridianville, then went shopping for clothes for summer. Tonight we all hopped in the hot tub, which I spent the weekend preparing. Matthew had been excited about it, asking me about it for several days. It worked buddy!

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This weekend the kids and I are off to Auburn for the A-Day game and a couple of AU baseball games with my parents.

New Computer

Well, I bit the bullet over the weekend...bought a new laptop. My old one would not take a charge, and is pretty much dead. I had to get a new machine, so I did. I had thought about a used IBM Thinkpad, but decided to go with a new machine at Best Buy. I bought a Gateway M-6309. It's not a top of the line edition, but it is nice, and plenty for what I need. It's regularly priced at $699...I got it for $499. So far I'm pleased, although I'm having an adjustment period to Vista. I'm trying to figure out the best way to transfer all my iTunes music files to my new laptop. I've pretty much got all my music on cd's and my iPod, so I think I can use a combination of both to make it happen. I don't know how I can use this laptop with my outdated printer though. My printer uses one of those large, wide pin cables, and my laptop doesn't have a jack for that. O well, I imagine Best Buy will have an adapter or some other solution readily available. Pax, if you're reading this, shoot me an email about resolving that issue...thanks!

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Karen and I spent most of the weekend together. She came to the kids' games on Saturday. We watched Auburn basketball that afternoon, then on Sunday, we both did some electronics shopping. Her bedroom TV died, just wouldn't turn on, so she bought a nice 37" HD model for her living room, then moved the nice 32" HD model into her bedroom. How nice!

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I need to hit the grocery store soon. Matthew has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), so we're trying to make healthier choices in his diet. Mostly that means cutting out sugars, caffeine, and red and yellow dyes. As you might realise, that makes it hard to use some food items. Of course, we're not totally eliminating all of those things, but we are conscious of cutting down on them. So, anyway, I'm looking for some treats or items I can throw in his lunchbag so he's not starving at dinner time. I will say that the modifications in diet, as well as some behavioral techniques at home, are helping him focus and deal with stressors more effectively. His brain just moves so fast, and has a hard time latching on or focusing at times. That's getting better, though.

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Sarah continues to stockpile Webkinz. My god, she has about 35 of them now. She loves them. We even have a game we play with them...all three of us play it: the tossing game. We all choose 5 of the animals, stand at the end of the hall, and throw them all the way down the hall and onto Sarah's bed. Basically, one character is eliminated every round until there's a winner. By the way, I'm the champion!

On Fear; No Fear

Yesterday I got the results of my second cat scan. I have a "horseshoe kidney," which occurs in 1 of 400 people. It's likely a development during the embryonic stage. At this point, it's not a problem. Also, no kindey stones were found in the kidneys, bladder, or ureter. At this point I'm relieved.

Two days ago, Mother got a great report from her pet scan. In her first evaluation after her chemotherapy, she passed with flying colors. Very good news.

Karen, also, is getting better. Her wisdom teeth removal created more problems than we thought she'd have. She's been in and out of work, but is getting better.

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Matthew picks back up his piano lessons today. I'm glad about that. He is very naturally talented on the keys. His vast imagination works for him there too. He's constantly tinkering on the piano, making up songs, or replicating ones he's heard. He has a really good musical ear.

Sarah's still doing dance, and she is quite athletically coordinated, a good little dancer. She's also expressed interest in piano.

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I tried a new recipe last night: country fried steak with milk gravy. I used cubed steak; it was okay. I remember eating that growing up. The batter and gravy was pretty good, but the steak was a bit tough...then again, it was cubed steak.

I should probably stick with pies.

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My exercising continues to go well. I'm up to 40 minutes daily on the bike now. I weigh less than I have in a few years, probably around 198.

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The kids are with Lisa this weekend. I'm looking forward to some rest and time with Karen. The kids have games on Saturday, too.

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I recently finished On Fear by the late Indian writer/speaker Krishnamurti. At times this book was difficult to wrap my head around...it's challenging to western thinking. But it teaches some really good concepts, mainly how to recognize and deal with fear. Not fears of things like snakes or auto accidents, but rather inner fears, such as fears of not succeeding, or losing status, or losing your husband or wife, or fear of death...fears that often cripple people and keep them from growing in life. To overcome fears, people either usually try to run away or escape (which doesn't work) or patch them over with things like religion (which is really also trying to escape). Latching on to religion is much easier than taking yourself at face value, and facing your fears head on. What I took from the book is that to overcome fear you can't run, escape, or seek refuge in religion. You simply must face yourself and your fears. Admit them, embrace them, and live in the present, not the past or future. Then the fears lose their powers.